True wealth isn’t measured in pounds and pence. It’s a lesson that Alexander the Great, one of the richest people in history, learned too late, and one that thousands of dying patients have whispered to their carers in Britain’s hospices and hospitals. Despite living in one of the world’s most prosperous nations, the UK ranks just 23rd in global happiness, reporting its lowest average life evaluation since 2017. This stark disconnect between material success and genuine contentment reveals a fundamental truth: we’ve been chasing the wrong numbers.
The paradox of modern prosperity
The statistics paint a troubling picture of Britain’s relationship with money and happiness. 55% of UK households had to make at least one financial adjustment to cover essential spending in December 2024, whilst 49% of UK adults show characteristics of financial vulnerability. More concerning still, dealing with financial issues affects wellbeing, with younger generations most likely to suffer emotional or health issues as a result.
This isn’t simply about having enough money to get by. Research consistently shows that family and friends provide the most satisfaction, whilst personal financial situation is among the areas where satisfaction is lowest. We’re experiencing what economists call the Easterlin Paradox — the phenomenon where life satisfaction plateaus despite rising wealth.
The problem isn’t money itself, but our misguided pursuit of it as an end goal rather than a means to something greater.
Lessons from history’s wealthiest failure
In his compelling book, The Soul of Wealth, behavioural economist Daniel Crosby tells the story of Alexander the Great, a man whose vast conquests made him worth trillions of dollars in today’s money. By any financial measure, Alexander had achieved the ultimate definition of success.
Yet when his closest friend Hephaestion died during the siege of Tyre, Alexander’s world crumbled. “Grieving deeply, Alexander could hardly consider the victory at Tyre a sweet win,” Crosby writes. The loss left the great conqueror “so grief-stricken and emotionally unstable” that he became reckless, drank heavily, and died just two years later at age 32.
“Alexander’s sad story tells us something very real about true wealth,” Crosby observes. “We tend to chase a number as an external marker of riches, but real, soulful wealth is about much more than a number.”
The parallel with modern life is striking. We dedicate decades to accumulating wealth for retirement, yet often overlook the relationships and experiences that actually determine our wellbeing. Is it any wonder that retirees suffer from depression at significantly higher rates than both the general population and their non-retired peers?
What the dying tell us about living
The most profound insights about true wealth come from those facing life’s end. Bronnie Ware, an Australian palliative care nurse, spent years recording the final thoughts of dying patients. Her observations, published in The Top Five Regrets of the Dying, reveal a devastating gap between what we pursue in life and what actually matters.
The five most common regrets were:
- “I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me”
- “I wish I hadn’t worked so hard”
- “I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings”
- “I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends”
- “I wish that I had let myself be happier”
Notably absent from this list? Any mention of wishing they’d earned more money, accumulated more assets, or reached a higher net worth.
“When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled,” Ware writes. “All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.”
This disconnect between our life goals and end-of-life reflections suggests we’re fundamentally confused about what constitutes a wealthy life. As one financial planner reflected on social media: “We are confused creatures who don’t see the truth until there is no time left.”
The science of true wealth
Research validates what dying patients instinctively understand. Studies show that the things that matter most to personal wellbeing are people’s social relationships and their mental and physical health. The latest World Happiness Report confirms that sharing meals and trusting others are even stronger predictors of wellbeing than expected.
Psychologist Martin Seligman’s PERMA framework, a scientific model for human flourishing, identifies five essential elements: Positive emotion, Engagement, Relationships, Meaning, and Accomplishment. Notice how financial wealth appears nowhere on this list, yet each element can be enhanced by the thoughtful use of money.
“True wealth is not about finish lines or numbers,” Crosby explains. “It’s about using whatever material abundance we have to enrich the other, more enduring, paths to fulfilment.”
How financial planning serves true wealth
This doesn’t mean money is irrelevant; in fact it’s quite the opposite. Properly managed finances can be the foundation that supports a truly wealthy life. But the goal shifts from accumulation to enablement.
Consider how financial planning can support Seligman’s elements of flourishing:
Positive emotion: Financial security reduces anxiety and creates space for joy. When you’re not constantly worried about money, you’re free to appreciate life’s simple pleasures—from sharing a meal with loved ones to pursuing hobbies that bring delight.
Engagement: Good financial planning can provide the freedom to pursue meaningful work rather than just lucrative work. It can fund education, career transitions, or the ability to take calculated risks in pursuit of your passions.
Relationships: Money stress is one of the leading causes of relationship breakdown. Building regular saving habits increases financial security and confidence, and improves resilience, creating the stability needed for healthy relationships to flourish.
Meaning: Financial independence can enable philanthropy, volunteering, or pursuing causes you care about. It can provide the time and resources to contribute to something larger than yourself.
Accomplishment: Smart financial planning itself represents meaningful accomplishment, but more importantly, it can fund the pursuit of goals that truly matter to you—whether that’s learning new skills, travelling, or leaving a legacy.
Reframing financial goals
The key is reframing how we think about financial planning. Instead of asking “How much do I need to retire?” we might ask “What kind of life do I want to live, and how can money help me achieve that?”
This means:
Setting values-based goals: Rather than arbitrary financial targets, identify what you want your money to enable. Perhaps it’s the freedom to spend more time with family, the ability to pursue creative interests, or the security to take career risks.
Planning for relationships: Consider how your financial decisions affect your relationships. Can you afford to be generous with your time because you’re not constantly stressed about money? Can you visit distant friends or support family members in need?
Investing in experiences: Research consistently shows that experiential purchases like travel, education, and shared activities provide more lasting happiness than material goods. Factor these into your financial planning.
Building in flexibility: True wealth includes the ability to adapt when life changes. Build emergency funds not just for financial emergencies, but for life emergencies when you need to care for a parent, support a child, or pursue an unexpected opportunity.
Considering evidence-based investing: Focus on investment strategies grounded in research rather than speculation or emotion. This approach helps ensure your investments serve your long-term goals rather than providing short-term thrills.
Regular reflection: Just as we review investment portfolios, we should regularly assess whether our financial lives are supporting our broader goals for happiness and fulfilment.
The role of professional guidance
A skilled financial planner doesn’t just help you accumulate wealth, they help you align your money with your values. They can facilitate conversations about what truly matters to you and your family, helping you make decisions that support both financial security and life satisfaction.
This might mean choosing a slightly lower-return investment that aligns with your values, planning for sabbaticals or career changes, or structuring your finances to support ageing parents. It’s about using money as a tool for the life you actually want, not the life you think you should want.
The path to true wealth
Alexander the Great conquered the known world but lost sight of what mattered most. Bronnie Ware’s dying patients achieved clarity too late to act on it. But we don’t have to repeat their mistakes.
True wealth begins with recognising that money is never the end goal; it’s the means to freedom, security, relationships, and purpose. As Ware writes: “Life is a choice. It is your life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly. Choose happiness.”
The numbers in your bank account are important, but they’re not the measure of a wealthy life. The real question isn’t whether you have enough money; it’s whether you’re using whatever money you have to build the other, more enduring sources of happiness.
Financial planning, at its best, isn’t about reaching some magical number that will finally make you happy. It’s about creating the conditions for happiness to flourish: the security to take risks, the freedom to prioritise relationships, the resources to pursue meaning, and the peace of mind to enjoy the present moment.
That’s what true wealth looks like, and it’s available to anyone willing to shift their focus from the bank balance to what really matters.
As Crosby concludes: “Money can buy us simple pleasures like ice cream, cherished memories on vacation with people we love, and freedom to engage in spiritual and political pursuits, all of which can bolster our joy in real ways. However, if we relentlessly chase wealth as an end unto itself at the expense of other facets of wellbeing, history and science both teach us that it will lead to a hollowing out of life and an impoverishment of spirit.”
True wealth isn’t about having the most money; it’s about using whatever money you have to live the richest possible life.
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